Long distance caregiving
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: When a father cares for his son, they both laugh. When a son must care for his father, they both weep. (paraphrased) –The Talmud
Caring for others can and often does make us feel good. Acts of love and compassion can and do enrich the soul. What is it then that causes us to drive ourselves to pain and distraction when caring for our parents? I am thinking it’s the same thing that causes such internal turmoil whenever we feel we must choose between people we love, or even between other people’s needs and our own.
I wonder how young we are when we first get the idea that being “good” means putting everyone else’s needs ahead of our own. At what age do we start down a path that teaches us to validate ourselves from external rather than internal feedback?
What I took away from this interview was that we face these kinds of “limited resource” situations every day. Work vs. Family, Family vs. Self, and so on and so on. The seriousness of illness and the complexity of distance just increase our awareness of our limitations as human beings and the pain that often accompanies such flashes of self-awareness.
What I learned that in such cases, and at such times, we do best when we realize what we can and can’t accomplish, prioritize what must be done versus what we might like to do and give ourselves a lot of permission to nurture ourselves in the most effective way we can and to rely on others to help.
TIP OF THE WEEK: As a caregiver, remember to take care of yourself. And when you don’t, don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself permission to get through the day whatever way you can.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST: http://www.wina.com/play_window.php?audioType=Episode&audioId=3812750
