After we finish, my Executive Producer and I talk about the show we just did, what we liked, what I wish I had included, and then the ubiquitous random conversation… After this show, David commented that it’s all well and good to be invited in, but what do you do about the crystal ball concept?

Crystal ball concept? Maybe this sounds familiar: If you loved me you would know. Yes, you would know what I’m thinking, what I want, what I need, and precisely how I want you to perform in order to make me happy.  Yikes! There is a whole level of dynamic that happens between couples, between people, based on projection and subsequent unspoken expectation. I suspect that this is probably the major source of human suffering!

Downsides to the crystal ball dynamic are probably too numerous to name, but I’ll give it a go. If you are the holder of the crystal ball, it keeps you in the victim role, keeps you small, undeveloped, at the mercy of the other person’s ability and desire to keep your best interest paramount and perform up to your standard (good luck). If targeted as the crystal ball gazer, you are set up to fail, because after all, who else but Karnak the Magnificent is going to win this game?

How do you use the crystal ball for a good game of ninepins rather than a proving ground? Through the courage to know yourself, and I mean really know yourself–the good, the “bad” and the ugly–and indeed this DOES take courage. Sometimes the courage comes into play when I’m looking at parts of myself that I’m ashamed of, I’ve deemed too needy, and certainly don’t want others to know about. Sometimes courage comes into play when it’s time to own the magnificent parts of myself–is it OK to actually be spectacular? After all, aren’t we supposed to be humble and unassuming?

Courage, coupled with the light of self awareness and the willingness to communicate what you uncover about your magnificent self, move you closer to your own happiness, to creating a life of joy! And please remember, that just because you communicate a particular want or need (and just how many needs do we REALLY have) does not inherently imply a positive response on the receiver’s end. Come on ladies. This is where we get to pull our big girl panties up!

PRACTICE:  In rank order, write down the top 5 priorities in your life.

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST: http://tinyurl.com/mn4h29